Grieving daughter

Tonight’s one of those nights. All I can think about is my dad. The person he was before cancer destroyed him. His laughter and carefree attitude. The version of him that disappeared, once he heard terminal. He loved to have fun. He loved to enjoy every aspect of life. His presence made everyone smile. He brought comfort to anyone and everyone. He was home to me. I always knew everything would be ok, as long as I had my dad. How do I go on without the strongest part of me. This shouldn’t be. But it is. And I can’t control it. Being helpless in my own sadness and grief is such an uneasy feeling. I’ll never find a solution. Because he is the solution. And he will never be replaced. So I will always feel this way. It will just be a wound that is bandaid over a million times , until I’m with him again ........