Our souls are connected

I’ve been feeling like I’m spiritually connected to you. I almost feel as if what your feeling I feel . So whatever I feel is multiplied by how you feel. I don’t know how to handle this dad. Most days I’m overwhelmed with my sadness and yours. To watch you fight so hard for your life ....... the sadness in your mind was written all over your face. I felt every moment of it. Days before you passed and your body was freezing, and we covered you with blankets and a heating pad. I was freezing. I was shivering. I remember thinking in my mind why am I feeling this way . I felt your pain and sadness jolt through my body. It was a feeling I will never forget. In that moment I knew we had a special connection. Unlike most . I’ll never be able to accept what you had to endure. It was torture. To go from the strongest guy I knew, to a guy who couldn’t walk anymore. You wanted to so bad. You tried with every ounce of strength you had left in you. Why? Why doesn’t this happen to murderers or child molesters... why did this happen to the kindest most selfless loving person I will ever know. The best dad , husband, son, brother and papa. You consume my thoughts every single day. Every time I see a grandpa or a dad it saddens me. That I’ll never get another moment with you. I accidentally called you the other day. For a split second I thought maybe you would pick up. Than it hit me all over again. Your gone. Your never coming back. I feel as if I lose you all over again every single morning when I wake up . It hits me like a ton of bricks. That it wasn’t just a nightmare. It’s real life and nothing can change that your gone. I pray for you to come back everyday, sometimes even cry and scream . Knowing that it’s impossible. I miss you so much dad.